A fool and her money are soon separated? Isn’t that how the saying goes?
I must admit, I have been the fool lately, although a small part of me is optimistic that may not be the case.
As the days slip by, and aging takes a greater hold, I’ve been examining my odd perimenopausal pigeon-body shape, blotchy sun-damaged skin, and thinning hair with a more critical eye. Yes, we all get older and our bodies show signs of it, but like many women, I want to cling to a youthful appearance and why shouldn’t a woman want this? As women age, it’s like they slip into a watery apparition version of themselves, unseen by people, and ignored by most of society. An older woman is irrelevant. An older man is wise.
Is the above statement true? Depends on who you ask and how old they are. But pushing that aside, I want to look youthful as possible, because really, it drills down to vanity. Which is why I purchased an Irestore low-level-laser helmet. Place it on your head for 12 minutes a day and within a year, hair will grow back to long luscious locks of your teenage years.
Ok, maybe the company did not promise that, but it did say it should help with thickening of existing strands and maybe, just maybe, causing new hair growth in parts of the scalp now lonely and devoid of hair.
What would it hurt to try, other than my banking account?
My husband rolled his eyes at me, surely silently smirking that I wasted my money. Maybe I did but only time will reveal the truth. He suggested I get a wig instead. After all, it’s only 90 degrees and higher with 90 percent humidity 10 months out of the year. Heat stroke isn’t a real issue, is it?
The thought of a suffocating wig on top of my head during the summer makes me shudder. Besides, what happens if you go to the beach, or go for a run? Will my own sweat ruin the wig? As someone who never wore a wig outside of a Halloween costume or a stage performance, I do not know the answers to those questions.
No, I want a more permanent solution so here we go, laser helmets, things of sci-fi movies and desperate aging people.
I will take before and after photos and keep track of progress, if any. I will report back in intervals.
Or maybe I’ll just say screw and embrace my new ghost life and haunt people.
Look, you can even do irestore for date night.
I will give an update in six months and let you know my results and then again in a year.