ASHI ANSWERS ALL OF YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ABOUT JAPAN, THE LIFESTYLE OF CATS, AND MORE!
Dear Ashi,
My husband is horrible at managing finances. We eventually agreed I would handle all the assets, pay the bills and manage the bank account; he would receive a weekly allowance to do with as he pleased. Recently he has been dipping into the life expense funds (i.e. account to pay the mortgage, utilities, groceries) to buy stuff. It started small, a new toaster for the kitchen, a skateboard, a G-shock watch, but then he started making more expensive purchases, a new laptop when his old
one was only 5 months old, a new 62” TV while the older 55” one worked great, and even a sports car for himself! How can I get him to realize that these purchases financially hurt us and are not agreed upon, without it blowing up into an atomic fight ending our marriage?
Signed,
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
He has not only broken the established rules, but has made your financial life and current standard of living insecure. Ultimately, this is about him losing your trust. If another cat loses my trust, I will arch my back, puff up my tail, and show him who is boss cat through an old-fashioned, teeth bared, ears back, claws out fight.
However, since you said you do not want to fight, you have to explore other options.
You need to show him who is head honcho. By the way, honcho is Japanese for squad leader.
Ways of doing that, besides fighting: Hiss at him when he enters the room or urinate on his boots. This shows him who is the alpha-cat. Or you could do it the boring way that humans love, you could talk to him. Once you establish your dominance through calm conversations, figure out why he is spending without caution. My guess is he probably needs more play time and more interactions with you, and guess what, that’s free, and non-violent. Once he’s tired from running around, give him a treat. I guarantee your financial situation will improve in the future. He just needs attention and treats.
Good luck!
Ashi
P.S. If that fails, when he spends money on something he shouldn’t, threaten to take him to the vet, I mean the doctor. When he spends again, follow through.
Dear Ashi,
Why do cats love sitting in boxes?
Signed,
Curious
Dear Curious,
Did you play forts as a kid and sit inside, hidden from the world? Why do adults love enclosed reading nooks? Why do people want first-class airline suites that have walls around the seat? A box is a cat’s play fort, reading nook, enclosed luxury seat, and more. It offers a chance to escape from prying eyes, a cozy napping space, or protection from outside annoyances. Cats and humans aren’t so different.
Respectfully,
Ashi
Dear Ashi,
Help! I got a new cat, and she pisses on the curtains. What do I do?
Stinking in New Hampshire
Dear Stinking,
Most likely she is doing that to establish her dominance. You can override this and stop it by putting your own urine on the curtains. It has to be in higher volumes than hers. Since I know humans dislike showing status through a pee trail, then get rid of the curtains and replace them with new ones. Be sure to wash them first. Chemicals on the fabric that you can’t smell may entice your new cat to do her business on them. Rule out any possible health issues like a UTI or crystals. If she gets the all clear, and has established her territory, she is stressed. Let her have food and pettings when she wants it, and set up a nice cozy space she can retreat to for nap time. If that doesn’t work, then practice desensitizing your nose to the odor.
Hope this helps,
Ashi
Dear Ashi,
What are the tastiest treats that cats prefer?
Signed,
My felines are begging
Dear Felines are begging,
Cats love rotisserie chicken, canned tuna, bits of clams, half-and-half, Tempations, beef baby food, sliced deli meat…there are many possibilities. My favorite is half-and-half!
Respectfully,
Ashi